Just let it go: an email to my sister

by Bella

image source:http://churchofthefridge.com/blog/tag/letting-go/

I’m getting to know my big sister all over again. We’re 6 years apart in age but the only girls in a family of 5 kids, so we were very close growing up. Time, distance, responsibilities, and the modern world caused us to grow apart. Until a few months ago, we hadn’t had any contact since our grandmother’s funeral in 2000.

Recently, she initiated contact with me and we’re writing regular emails to catch up on all that we’ve missed. One thing I’ve noticed is that my sister, though she desperately wants to be happy, really dwells on the past. She and her husband have so many lifestyle related ailments, that I’ve lost track of them all. They don’t seem to make the connection between how they live, eat and think to how they feel.

She wants to know all about me and my family, not just what we do, but who we really are. I have been very honest with her in the hope that by sharing our journey with her, she and her husband will be inspired to make some life changes that will bring them the happiness they so desire. In fact she just told me today that they sold their 2000 sq ft home, got rid of much of their stuff and moved into an 885 sq ft place, and they feel a huge weight lifted off of them. What a great start.

This is an excerpt from one of my early emails to her. It clearly resonated with her, and I hope that it will cause others to reevaluate what makes them happy. It’s about letting go of not only things, but of bad habits and toxic emotions …

“I’m glad that you’re finding some peace in your life. Desire is the source
of all pain. Desiring love from <others>, desiring to be rid of the things
that haunt or upset you, they all cause pain. It’s easier said than done,

but you *can* just let it go.

I’ve been pretty good at that in recent years, with a few exceptions.
Unless someone intentionally does something to me or my family, I let it
go. When someone is evil, I write them off and move on. It bothers me for a
while, but eventually I get over it, however I don’t forget.

When you left, I missed you, but was never angry at you for leaving. I

The thing that created the most distance between me and the family and me
and old friends is everyone’s strong held (stubborn) beliefs. I don’t want
to tell others what to believe or how to live their lives. I respect
people’s right to live and think as they like. The problem is that I expect
the same in return. It’s the lack of the return part which creates the
problem. Therefore, knowing that my desire to have respect returned and not
getting it causes me pain, So I let it go and, for the most part, have
removed the sources of that pain from our lives. Essentially, it sounds as
if that’s what you were doing when you moved away. I’m just sorry that
other pains plagued you for so many years, but glad to know you’re moving on
and can see that it only hurts you to hold onto it.

So about us. We are minimalists and gluten free, dairy free vegetarians
(I’m mostly vegan),

We’ve spent many years shopping, shopping and shopping like we were trained
by corporate America and the government to do. It made us miserable. Having
to find a place for all the stuff made us even more miserable. Now we’re
paying the price. It took very little time to accumulate all the stuff.
It’s taking ages to get rid of it. We’ve been selling it off and giving
things away, while only buying what we truly need, for 5 years now, and we
still have stuff to get rid of. We’ve finally set a deadline <and we have a goal>

Anything that’s not of any real monetary value or use <has to go>.
The stuff and getting rid of the stuff has become all consuming. We’ve
been doing it for so long now that trying to get rid of it, is making us as
miserable as buying it and storing it did. If we don’t just let it go, it will devour

The healthy, simple eating goes hand in hand with that way of thinking.
We’re cleansing our minds and our bodies. Eating healthy and exercising
gives us clarity of thought. It removes the brain fog, allowing us to
escape the hypnotic affects of the brain-washing that led us down the
consumerist path. It also creates space for new opportunities.”

I’m so proud of her for making changes in her life and really touched that she reached out to me. We’ve reconnected at a point in our lives where we want the same things, freedom and happiness. It’s wonderful to be able to support and encourage one another to achieve these goals.



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